My Bland Life

The Smell of Happy

2009-12-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

One day at school Kelsey was telling her friends how good her jacket smelt. She couldn't figure out what it smelled like though. One of her friends smelled it and they said it smelled like her home. It is not one definite scent. It reminded Kelsey of her home and of me. So she calls the scent happy. There is nothing more important to me than for Kelsey and Sam to look back on their childhood and have happy memories. I want them to remember that even though I am far from perfect they know that I always love them. I want to build my children up- not tear them down like some parents do. I want them to know that not only do I love them I also like them. I have seen the true colors of my children and they both have great character. I will never understand for the life of me why some people have families that are so quick with an insult but so slow with a kind word. We are all on this earth for one reason only. For the purpose of God. God is love so that should start with our own families. We are to bring people to the kingdom. Not cause so much hurt that another person needs to be in therapy because of their childhood. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. That means treating each other with love, kindness, compassion and respect.

GOODBYE TODD

2009-08-29T14:48:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately my cousin Todd did not make it. He passed away on 08/21/09. This is the date of my other cousin Heith's birthday. Heith passed away in 86 due to a car accident. Todd and Heith were pretty close growing up. Like the pastor said, coincendence? We don't think so. We think it is confirmation. Confirmation that Jesus Christ will give us comfort and peace in the most unexpected ways. I pray for Heith's family as that had to make them relive his death. I also pray for Todd's family to be comforted as they learn to adjust to life without him. We know that the cousins are up in heaven now having a good ol time with their grandpa. RIP Todd.

Coma

2009-08-15T07:49:00.001-07:00

OK, so I haven't posted for a while. A LOT has happened though. My cousin (who is the same age as me) was in a drug induced coma for almost two weeks. He is finally out of the coma but he now has a hole in his lung. So please please pray for him. It is still a scary situation. But just think. Here is this guy who just started feeling bad and the next thing you know he wakes up in the hospital with a huge tube down his mouth. (Sound familiar Kelsey???) Kelsey lost 7 days of her life and my cousin has lost 2 weeks of his life!!! I think about how many days have I sat around the house wasting time and feeling sorry for myself. I vow not to do that again! Time is precious and you never know what the future holds.

7 years

2009-07-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

Today is my 7th wedding anniversary. 7 used to be a scary number for me. My first husband Joe died on 7-17-94. I know it may sound silly but I hated the #7 after that. July was always a dreaded month because I would relive the whole thing. 7 years after his death for some reason (thanks to Norma and Booker) I decided I was ready to date again. Mike started working at Spencer Plastics where I worked and I had an instant crush on him. For that whole 7 years before Mike I was not remotely interested in anyone. I wondered if I would ever get past Joe. We went out for the first time when my friends Carrie and Shannon rigged the whole thing up. Our first "date" was at Shooters in Chrisney. We had so much fun together. Then nothing.

Mike had so many issues and was so scared. He quit Spencers and I thought it was all over. I didn't see or talk to Mike for 6 weeks after that. Then me and Shannon went out and guess who we run into. That's right. Good ol Mike. It was a total God thing that made us run into each other too BTW. After that run in we have been together ever since.

Kelsey and Sam loved Mike right away too. We really didn't have any adjustment issues concerning the kids. Our relationship is far from perfect. We drive each other crazy but the way I see it that means we really love each other. It's when you don't care that you know it is over.

Mike I am so thankful that God brought you into my life. You are my closest friend and I don't know what I would do without you.

Happy 4th of July Everyone!

2009-07-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

Image by Mr Magoo ICU via Flickr

Image by T@H!R - طاھر via Flickr

God Wants Me to Grow Up!!!

2009-06-14T14:03:00.000-07:00

Today's church sermon really opened my eyes to something I have been struggling with. Thank you Pastor Jack. His sermon was about being a new creation in Christ. How when you let Christ into your life you are not the same. This relates to me in some relationships I have been struggling with. I could not understand why I was having trouble staying close to people that I have had in my life for so long. These relationships are not working because I have changed. I am no longer a baby christian and I have to step up to the plate and be the person God has created me to be. As long as I hold onto things or people that He no longer wants me to focus on I can't take the next step. OK Lord, I know I am slow but now that my eyes are opened I will focus on what YOU want in my life instead of what I think I should have.

"God's ultimate goal for your life on earth is not comfort, but character development."

Rick Warren-The Purpose Driven Life

1A

2009-06-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

1A is the grade Kelsey received on her heart biopsy. That means there is some rejection. She has gotten this grade before and they usually do not do anything. (It is normal to have some rejection. If she had received a 2 she would have had to stay in the hospital.) With this biopsy they found something different. It is called quilting (sp). Don't ask me what it means, I don't know. Yes, I did ask the doctors but it didn't make any sense. All I know is that they gave her a dose of steroids while still in the hosp and she has to up her prednisone for the next 3 days. She also has to go back on Thursday for a f/u appt. The way I took it is that this rejection could have led to a full blown rejection and they are stopping it before that happens. We also seen the kidney dr. on Thursday before the biopsy. Her kidney function has improved but they are still monitoring her.
Going to the hospital does have it's up side though. Kelsey gets told how good she looks, how pretty she is and what wonderful skin she has more times that I can count. The drs and nurses are very good for her ego. We also had a wonderul nurse named Teresa. After the biopsy we have to stay in the hosp. for 6 hours and Teresa was just wonderful. Since they have to go through the groin for Kelsey's procedure she has to keep her leg still and move very little for the 6 hours. Her back started to ache from laying so still and Teresa even gave her a back rub. We were treated more like family that patients. It takes a special person to be a nurse. They have to deal with so much. I have seen what they do and I truly appreciate them. Next time you or someone you know is in the hospital and receive excellent care like we did, make sure you let the hospital know. They have cards you can fill out and these nurses can receive recognition for the hard work that they do.

Happy Heart Day!

2009-05-31T04:55:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we celebrated Kelsey's "second birthday" this year. This one is in honor of the new heart she received on May 23. It was sooooo much fun. We had the usual crew here. We grilled out hamburgers and hotdogs. We played volleyball. (Dale whooped Newtonville BTW. That's right Nick.) I want to thank everyone who ordered Tshirts. That meant so much to Kelsey. I also want to thank Kelsey for designing the front, Tara for the scripture and Amy for the donor slogan. I have gotten lots of compliments on them so you guys did a great job. I also want to thank my very best friend Jesus Christ. Thank you for making this celebration possible. Without you Kelsey would not be here right now. I want to thank everyone who has ever said a prayer for my family. Prayer does change things. Sometimes not in the way we would like though. If things had gone my way Kelsey would have never had this rare autoimmune disease. Or it would have been caught much sooner so maybe she wouldn't have lost the heart she was born with. God had other plans though and that is what everyone has to trust in when prayers are not answered in the way we think they should be. God IS in control.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you."
Ezekial 34:26

Get well soon Lacey. We missed you at the party and love you very much!!!!!!!!

T shirts for sale in honor of Kelsey

2009-05-17T07:24:00.001-07:00

This year for Kelsey's heart anniversary we are having Tshirts made. The cost will be $10 and Kelsey is going to use the proceeds to make a donation to Kosairs hospital. If you would like to have one leave me a comment here, on Facebook or just email me.

Thanks!!!!

Kelsey's New Heart

2009-05-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

May is a month of celebration.

On May 23, 2005 is the day Kelsey was given a second chance at life. That is the day she received her heart transplant. This event would not be possible if it were not for people that choose to be organ donors. In this case it was a parents decision to donate their child's organs so mine could live. I cannot write about this without crying. I cannot imagine the depth of pain that goes into losing a child. I almost lost Kelsey but I didn't. Every morning when I go into her room and wake her up to take all her medication I literally thank God that I have another day with her. That is how I look at life. As a gift. I don't know how much time I have with my family, I only know I will not take them for granted. I think about the heart that is inside Kelsey a lot. I don't know anything about this person. All I know is they were a teenager from Michigan. I wrote the family a letter to thank them for their selfless act but they did not respond. I don't know if I could respond if the situation were turned around. Would I want to speak to the family that has my child's heart? I just don't know.

All you have to do to become a donor is make sure it is checked on your drivers license and make your wishes known to someone. Did you know that one organ donor can save 8 lives?! You can make a difference. Please donate life.

The Bridge

2009-04-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

My daughter is probably the smartest person I know. I learn so much from her. I am terrified of heights, water, bridges, snakes etc. So a lot of things in other words. Kelsey has to go to heart clinic every 3 months to make sure everything is functioning the way it should be. So at least twice every 3months I have to go over a bridge to get to Louisville. I always drive in the center lane and I have to be behind a vehicle so I can stare at their license plate. Kelsey looked at me one day and said that my faith amazes her BUT......she doesn't understand if I trust God so much why was I afraid to drive over a stupid bridge. She said if something happens on the bridge God allowed for it happen and there is nothing I can do about it. How very true. I trust God with so much except for when it comes to me. I trust Him to take care of my family and friends but why do I have so little faith when it comes to Him taking care of me? Maybe I think I am not worthy of His attention and that is sooo foolish. He loves me and He died for me just like He did all of us. I am still not 100% OK with driving over a bridge but I am not near as terrified. Thanks for the eye opener seester. I love you mostest :)

Prom 2009

2009-04-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

Seth gave this candle to me before they went to prom. I told Kelsey he is definetly the best boyfriend ever. Not only does she get gifts but I do too!!!
These are the roses Seth gave Kelsey before prom. He is soooo sweet to her. (Rebecca, thank you for having such a wonderful and thoughtful son).

Forever 24

2009-03-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

03-24-70 to 07-17-94

This post is to celebrate the memory of my first husband Joseph Abraham Bland. He is definetly the one person who changed my life the most. He was the first person I fell in love with, the first person I ever trusted and the father of my only 2 children. Without him I would not be where I am today. I can still remember every detail of being told about his death. It was a horrible and dark time in my life. I survived because of God and because I loved my children more than I pitied myself. I think the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks says it all. I could have missed the pain but I would have also missed the most wonderful gift in the world. They are called Kelsey and Sam. Thank you Joe for bringing so much good into my life. I will forever love you. All the time.

Finally!!

2009-03-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

Kelsey is finally back to her normal self. She is on spring break this week so that is also helping tremendously. She has a ton of follow up appointments in April to make sure everything is functioning the way it should. I talked to her kidney dr. on Monday and he said that there is nothing to worry about with the kidneys. Even though her actual dx is kidney failure, it really isn't. He said that people can function fine at 50%. It is when it gets down to like 30% that you have a real problem. He also said it is a very slow process and would take 5 years for her to get down that low. Her heart dr. told me that the ear infection she had at the beginning of this month played havoc on her system. Since she is immunosuppressed any kind of infection will take a long time for her to recover from.

PROM DRESS SHOPPING

2009-03-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun tonight. Me, Kelsey, Tara and Jamie (Peaches) went shopping in Louisville for Kelsey's prom dress. Kelsey's energy level is still not the greatest but at least she was out of the house. She tried on about 8 dresses and they all fit. They all looked fantastic on her. Some were eliminated on the fact that they were just to difficult to deal with as far as strings and stuff like that. We were at the store for probably a total of one hour and that includes buying the shoes too. I hate to shop so I was more than pleased with that time frame.

We then went down to the river walk. We took a horse drawn carriage ride with a dog named Rex. Then we went to Joe's crab shack. That place is so cool. We didn't eat there since it would take 1 1/2 hours to be seated. We went inside to look around though. Me and Kelsey bought tshirts and I bought a cup coozie for Mike and his beloved beer. We then stopped at Game Stop because Sam's Xbox stopped working. I bought him a new one since I would have to pay almost as much to have it fixed. Again. Tara being the wonderful aunt she is bought him a new game to go with it.

We had fun last night too. I had already received copies as of last week of the movie Twilight but I decided I could use a few more copies. So me and the kids decided to be at Walmart at midnight when they went on sale. Kelsey's boyfriend Seth went with us and we picked Jamie up when we arrived in Jasper. We were all just acting like goofballs.

I know I needed a weekend like this and I know Kelsey did too. I talked to her dr. on Friday and he said that because of her being sick and having an infection it would just take a while for her body to fight it. She is immunosuppressed so it takes longer for her to recover from being sick. He said the best thing for her to do is take it easy and not do to much until she is better.

Update on Kelsey Bland

2009-03-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone for praying for Kelsey. Turns out because of everyone storming heaven she did not have to go to Kosairs after all. She went to see her kidney dr. on Tuesday and her kidneys are only functioning at 50%. That is cause for concern so they are going to have to run some tests on her and adjust her meds. I don't really know what all this means or how it is going to effect her. Her kidneys were in complete failure after the transplant and she was on dialysis but we have not had any trouble since. As for the chest pain it is better. She has been in a lot of pain for the past few weeks and she has a LOT of anxiety right now. Kelsey is the strongest person I know but she is getting tired of there always being something wrong. I can count how many times I have seen this beautiful child cry and last night she finally broke down. So please keep praying for her.

Kelsey loves getting cards in the mail. When she was in the hospital she received so many. There have been a lot of times when she would get those cards out and look at them all over again. So please send her a word of encouragement. Our mailing address is PO Box 202, Dale, IN 47523

Thanks and God Bless you all

TWILIGHT

2009-03-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

I just watched the movie Twilight for the first time. It is soooo good! I am still in the prcess of reading all the books. I am only on my second one. Since watching the movie I will definetly make the books a priority now. I totally understand Kelsey and all her friends obsession now. Kelsey actually ordered a transfer from Amy that said "Falling for fictional characters is not wrong" because of Edward.

"I HEAR VOICES IN MY MIND AND YOUR WORRIED THAT YOU'RE THE FREAK?"
edward cullen

POWER OF PRAYER

2009-03-07T14:51:00.001-08:00

I want to thank everyone for lifting up Kelsey, me, Mike and Sam. Kelsey is in much better spirits today. She inspires me every day the way she fights through everything she deals with. On Friday I could not get my emotions under control though. I was literally having a panic attack. (sorry Amy but thanks for taking care of me. again.) Sometimes I just like to be in denial and pretend that everything is normal. That I don't have a daughter who has a chronic illness. I am so thankful to God that He still has work for her to do and did not call her home that May 19, 2005.
But sometimes it just hurts so bad to see her in pain and when she gets discouraged. She has so much stress in her life. Then I think about Sam and how close him and Kelsey are and I can't imagine how he feels. To have that fear. I have no idea how anyone handles life without Jesus Christ.

"Ask, and it will given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened unto you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it will be opened." Luke 11: 2-4

The video below is a song that Jessica Greene sang to Kelsey while she was in the ICU at Kosairs. Kelsey at the time was in a drug induced coma and when Jessica started singing this song to her she actually responded to her and started moving her arms around!! This song is so comforting to me because it reminds me of how near God is even in your darkest hour.

The Love Dare

2009-02-22T04:58:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we all watched this movie called Fireproof together. It stars Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains (he's still a cutie by the way). It is a christian movie about a struggling marriage. They are getting ready to get a divorce when Kirk's father tells him he needs to read this book called Love Dare before giving up. The book is AMAZING!! As with any marriage me and Mike were having our challenges. We started reading this book (and actually taking the dares) and it really works! I highly recommend this book and the movie. I am starting to fall in love with Mike all over again.

Random stuff

2009-02-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

Sammy now has his permit. He passed with flying colors. I asked him if he wanted to drive home and he said no. He has had his permit for 4 days now and not once has he wanted to go out and drive. He is so much like me. I did the exact same thing. I was terrified to drive at first. Once I started though I was never home.

I also want to brag about my daughters boyfriend Seth. He had the most beautiful flowers sent to the house for her on Valentines Day. After the flowers were delivered to Kelsey Mike asked her if it was Valentines Day. Duh! So my gift was a quick trip to the dollar store to find something that represented love. My husband is just not very romantic. Hope everyone elses husbands did better than mine. LOL.

Last night a dear friend of mine was the witness speaker at the EDWE emmaus gathering. She did a fantastic job and really opened my eyes about something I have been struggling with. That is the fact that God does not give up on people. I may want to after so many years of being frustrated with someone but isn't it wonderful to know that God NEVER does. Whenever we are ready HE will be there waiting with open arms. If a situation with a loved one is not going the way we want it to we also have to Let go and Let God. That is hard to do for someone who is a control freak and trying to always fix everything. God is the only one who can truly change us.

I also want to give a shout out (or shoot out as Amy would say) to Brandon Heith Beard. Today is his birthday. He is an awesome kid that I adore so I pray that he has a wonderful day. I love you "bubbles".

Sam has the eyesight of a senior citizen

2009-02-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

Today I took Sam to get his learner permit. Except poor Sam was not able to get it. They said Sam's eyes are like a senior citizens. It was really bad. Michelle kept telling him to read line 5 and he couldn't make out anything. I promise you I take him for eye exams every year and he is right at a year from his last one. I wonder if he could get a senior citizen discount at Denny's........

2009-01-26T02:23:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE BUG!!

Hope you have a great day :)

2009-01-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON

Hope you had a great birthday!!!!!! When we finally get to see you again we are going to have a huge party for you and Jordan to make up for all the ones we have missed!

WE LOVE YOU AND JORDAN SOOOOO MUCH!!

2009-01-24T13:32:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!!

My nephew David turned 12 on January 17th. He wanted to go to Evansville to play Laser Tag. I couldn't go because I had to work :( Mike, Sam and Kelsey went though. Betty was the winner of course. Yeah Betty, girl power!!! She beat out all those boys. I gave David 2 movies for his gift. One of them was a Pink Panther movie with Steve Martin. I asked Darin how he liked it and he said that he literally would not touch the movie box. Why do you ask? Because there is pink on it. Boys.....

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY KELSEY!

2009-01-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

Kelsey is 17 years old today. Kelsey loves to have parties so I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday and she said nothing much. I thought I was off the hook and we could do just a family thing. Come to find out she invited all her friends to come over and spend the night. She knows I don't mind having them over so she just assumes it is OK with me. I told her next time I would just like to be included in what is going on in my own home. Teenagers.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELSEY!!!!!!!!!!!

Seester

2009-01-15T16:05:00.001-08:00

My darling daughter has started blogging now too. The name of her blog is A lot of heart. I hope that she will share her stories with everyone. This child is such an inspiration to me and to everyone that knows her. At 13 she almost died. She had been healthy all her life and then had to have an emergency heart transplant due to a rare disease called Giant Cell Myocarditis. It is her story so I will let her tell it in her own time. I just want to testify to what the Good Lord can do. He does answer prayers and He still performs miracles. Every day that I get to wake up and see my children and my husband is truly a gift. Always cherish your loved ones. All you are guaranteed is today so make the most of it. The following bible verse is so important to me. It really helped me get through all those days at the hospital when I didn't know if I would be leaving with Kelsey or not. It taught me that God loves Kelsey more than I do and that I have to trust Him with her life.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Welcome Jimmy Peaches!!

2009-01-13T10:58:00.000-08:00

My neice just started a blog also. Hers is called inVESTed. Her last name is Vest. Funny huh? She is a total trip. My IQ drops drastically when I am with Jamie because she is so much fun. I have to explain to you why I call her Jimmy peaches. Jimmy is just because it is close to her name Jamie and there is a story behind peaches. The whole family goes out to eat at a restaurant and the waitress comes over to our table and asks if we would like any dessert. We all pass but Jamie is considering what she wants to order. Finally she looks at the waitress and asks her what is in the peach pie. We are all laughing of course and the waitress is trying not to. She says it has crust and peaches. So that is how Jimmy Peaches got her name. Love ya girl!!

Paranoid!

2009-01-10T19:20:00.000-08:00

Ok this is my first post and it is about being a paranoid mom. I am working at my video store tonight and this customer comes in talking about Kelsey. He is just telling me how he picks on her because she won't talk to him. (Kelsey is very quite and reserved until you make her "list" and then she doesn't shut up.) Anyhoo we are just joking around about her and I tell him that she went to a movie with some friends and her boyfriend. He's like are you sure. That's what we always told our parents too. Until tonight it never even occured to me that she would do something I wouldn't approve of. Kelsey has her own life journey to go on though. I refuse to be the kind of mom who constantly undermines their child and their independence. The reality is she is about to turn 17. She wants to go to college and be a psychologist. When she was 2 years old she was giving me and my friends advice so she has only gotten better with age and experience. I think I will forget about the doubts this guy put in my mind and trust my daughter.
"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6